A Fangirl’s Dream Once Came True


I spent thousands of money just to see a glimpse of you.

I spent thousands of sleepless nights just to achieve where I am right now.



I fought a lot of people who told you that you could never make it.

I fought a lot of trials just to achieve where I am right now.



Yet you never laid your eyes on a fan like me.

And I will do everything just to maintain the achievements that could be stolen right now.



No assignments? No exams? No incentives? Fine! Just to see you from afar will make everything worth it.

No sleep? No normal life? No girlfriend? Fine! Just to provide a better life for my family will make everything worth it.



But you never seemed to notice. So I just stopped being your fangirl and just simply focused on my studies to get into my dream university.

But my family never seemed to notice. So I just stopped being a celebrity and simply focused on my studies to get into my dream university.



Then the most magical moment happened in my life when I found out that you are in one of my classes.

The most awkward moment happened when I entered in a room with half a hundred eyes staring at me.



I immediately looked away because it might seem rude to stare. But then I realized that I am not the only one staring.

I immediately went to the vacant seat and acted like I don’t mind all the stares, just like I always did.



My heart almost stopped when you sat on my right. You looked and smiled at me while I almost dropped my jaw.

My attention got caught when I saw you on the left of that vacant seat so I smiled at you. I hesitated for a second, and then realized that I don’t have to worry anymore.



You introduced yourself like you still needed one. I wanted to say that I already know, not only your name but everything a person has to know about you. But thanks to my acting skills, I played it cool.

I introduced myself and shook hands with you and for the first time, I found a girl who just looked at me like a normal person that simply wants to hang out with, as a friend.


The professor came so we stopped our little chitchat.

The professor came so we stopped our little chitchat.



Small chitchats turned into deep talks with you to the point that you invited me to hang out with your non-celebrity friends which I know by heart.

My manager told me that I have to go back to the industry, meaning I have to bid my friends goodbye, including you.



That night I confessed that I was your fangirl. I was actually very shy to admit it but I know that I have to tell you anyways.

That night, after you confessed, I invited you to another event. This time it’s gonna be just the two of us. A date, and for the first time, I didn’t care on what others will say.


Of course I said yes. Until that date had another one and another and another.

I decided to tell you but then I thought I must not ruin the moment so I asked you on another and another and another date to tell you that I have to say goodbye.


But just like that, goodbye. Because you have to stop school to be the main actor of your dream role.

Just like that, I lost you to achieve the dream that I’ve always wanted.


“Is there even something going on between us?”

“Of course, there’s something. I won’t spend this much if this is just for nothing.”


“But you’re leaving me.”

Nothing. I said nothing, because I don’t have anything decent to respond.


It’s hard not to hear some news from you because your fame had doubled after you accepted that role, and decided to leave me behind.

It’s hard not to think of you when you are the first girl that I ever dated. But as years went by, those precious times that we had became simple memories that I should forget.


Moving on is easier said than done; that is something that is known to almost everyone. But a surprise came into my life when your leaving was equated to the coming back of my first love: writing.

Years, more years had passed yet I never heard a single news about you. I was blocked from your social media accounts and I definitely had no guts to call you. It was a surprise that I worried more about you instead of my career going downhill.


I wrote an entire novel about a fangirl and a celebrity finding their path together. But it is not us because the characters had a happy ending and the celebrity never had to leave. It became sold out, turned into a movie, made the movie a blockbuster and surprisingly gave me popularity both in television and online.

I never realized that I would hear from you again and it was from the television. They said that you wrote a novel. I never even knew that you love to write. I bought the novel, read it for two whole days and cried for two whole weeks. This is not us, I know, but this should’ve been us if I did not make the wrong decision back then.


Incredulously, I’ve been linked with famous celebrities and not you. I was wondering  why and then realized that it has been three years since people had forgotten about your name.

It seemed that you gained popularity so much that some celebrities are being linked with you. Well, who wouldn’t be mesmerized by you?


Until the people from the internet revived your personality as my ex-boyfriend based from the photos I posted which may be the first time for you to see.

  Then a few weeks later, our photos in the past were leaked and they were from your social media account with captions that spoke your heart back when we had that something. 


To explain the photos that I never deleted, a famous talk show invited me on an interview and I accepted it. “Was he your boyfriend?” the interviewer asked

I waited patiently for your response, and regretted it afterwards because this time, I have to be the one to chase you. 



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